Finally had our last show of Trojan Women – after a 5 week run with 4 shows a week, it’s been a long one! Can’t really say I’d sad it’s over, all though I will miss some of the girls – it’s a really draining show and to do it four times a week, plus the time commitment was taxing, all though, like every play I do, I’m glad I did it

It was a first for a lot of things – my first Greek Tragedy and also my first time to actually cry real tears during a performance. If you’ve read some of my other blogs, then you know that this is a “thing” for me. So this show was a step in the right direction. It helped me to learn a few things where this is concerned, such as, I can cry when I think that no one is looking at me. If I’m the center of the scene and all eyes are fixed on me, then no matter how much I feel like it, the tears just won’t come.

I thought that after crying in front of a live audience 4 nights a week that this would be able to transfer over to film as well, but due to that reason I just mentioned… apparently not. I had an audition during the show that I did really well in – all except for one thing. The note from the director was that I was hitting all of the beats perfectly, however not going deep enough with them – that everything was too much on the surface. And he was right. The scene called for tears and I couldn’t give him tears. I felt it, it hurt, and as soon as I walked out of that casting room I burst into tears, but I just couldn’t do it in front of them. I guess the show didn’t really solve anything, but at the very least, it showed me that I can do it – I just still need to work on it.

Anyway- back to the play. I was really really floored by some of the actors in this show. In particular the lead Alla – she is really truly an amazing actor. The emotional depth that she brought to the show night after night was just inspiring. Then Josephine – not only did she make such wonderful big bold choices, but she was constantly changing them. She reminded all of us that theater is a living thing, not bound to be done “one way” and that we should always be exploring. Her commitment and dedication to her role was so wonderful to watch. And Constance – completely free of spirit and mind – she gave me so much to aspire towards. A wonderful actor with great choices, depth, and a gravitating presence. I learned so much from each one of them.